What is the secret of happiness? I have really been contemplating this question especially since my return from National Wellness. I think I have finally figured it out. Actually, I didn't figure it out, the honeybee did. Let me explain.

My grandmother lived most of her adult life on a farm in Northwest Arkansas. It was the finest 40 acres of paradise I have ever known. There was sweet corn picked and shucked everyday and eaten with liberal amounts of butter churned on the back porch the day before. There was fresh whole milk straight from the cow. My favorite of all was the blackberry or raspberry cobbler made from wild berries I picked that very morning. To this day, I remain a blackberry/raspberry junkie.

On my grandmother’s farm, there were no demands other than those imposed by meeting the basic needs of life: sleep, hunger, and love. The rhythm was beautiful. We worked, we played, we ate, sometimes we fished, and then we ate some more.  After dinner we would always go outside beneath the huge silver maple where the adults would talk, often with neighbors, and the kids would run around trying to catch a firefly.

Most importantly, there was time to explore and learn from nature. I remember how much fun I had going in to the woods to watch birds and bugs and squirrels. But perhaps the most meaningful and profound lesson I have ever learned came from watching the honeybees that made the sweet clover honey that we ate on our biscuits and cornbread.

The honeybee spends its day sucking up nectar. Of course, the nectar is the sweetest, most delicious, most essential part of the flower. The bee buzzes from one flower to the next almost without stopping. At each fragrant flower, it stops, considers the flower, experiences the flower, and sometimes drinks the nectar. When it finds nectar that is especially good, it shares the location with members of its family so that all might share. Then, amazingly, without dwelling too long on this sweet nectar, it moves on to the next flower. In a wonderful symmetry, the act of gathering nectar confers a community good by the pollination of additional flowers. So, a bee engages each day in the collection of nectar and in doing good. 

Could you imagine spending a month, or week or even a day doing nothing but engaging in this kind “nectarful exchange”? Nothing but focusing on the essence? Nothing but doing good? Sure, it might not be a practical suggestion given the pace of life today but that is exactly the point. When the pace of life pushes us so fast that we only have time to look at the flower as we blow past, we will never get the deep satisfaction that comes with savoring nectar or from doing good. In the nectar exchange, in this beautiful synergy, lies the secret of happiness.

So what is the secret of happiness? It is about learning to block out the external pace of life every now and then, and to drink deeply from whatever nectar happens to be placed in your way. Call it “nectarful living” if you want. It is about immersing yourself completely into the sensuality of your flower, the taste of its nectar, and in the good that you render on yourself and others by so doing.  And having thus deeply immersed, to continue on until the next nectar.